He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
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How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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