we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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