i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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