JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
