So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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