The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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