She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
