It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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