my vag is so smooth its legendary
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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