You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
