ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize