her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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