you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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