How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
