I wannas sexs uuuuu
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
