Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
