That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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