is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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