No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
