watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
