before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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