Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
