Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
