I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the day after is always just damage control
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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