Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
