It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize