Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize