3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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