dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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