quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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