Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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