Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
