Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
