tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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