Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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