dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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