I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
