I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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