STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
