so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Mom said you looked used
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
