There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
