i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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