You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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