So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize