Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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