At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize