Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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