we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
God, I missed his penis.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
