last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
