omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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