her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
