Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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