i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
