What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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