Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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