my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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