I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize