is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
