we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
how do flat chested girls get laid?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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