Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
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you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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