Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
