I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
