Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
