I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
