i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
