It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Too much gin, very little bucket
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
