Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have fence marks all over my body
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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